It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
