I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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