there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
