I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
