she woke up with a sticky ear
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
