Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
