Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
