I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
