Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
