they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
