Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
