Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
