ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
