Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
