i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
