he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
