I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
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