ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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