White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
