Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
