So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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