I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
