the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
