i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
