remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
