His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
