didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
