Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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