just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
