if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
