i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
