Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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