my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
