"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
