yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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