That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
