The maid of honor just puked.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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