brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
