so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
