He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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