You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
