:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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