What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
