I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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