sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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