would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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