Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
