I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
