I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
