fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
