Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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